Still breathing, but thats about it.

I'm gonna talk about stress. More specifically how freakin stressed out I am. I just got a new job. A "top of the food chain" job. Most people think its the greatest thing ever (Jenny), but really its not. For the following reasons:

1. Never have I ever wanted to have this much responsiblity. I shun responsibility. (Part of the reason I still live with my parents at 25. Yes. I know I have problems.)
2. If the organization crashes and burns guess whose fault it is? Yep. Its all mine. Who the heck wants that much pressure?!?! (Part of the reason I've never had a boyfriend at 25. I don't like pressure.)

I would continue, but I also don't like feeling all regretful of decisions that I've made and so I'm gonna stop right there.

So I'm STRESSED. More so than I have ever been before. I am a stressful person....as in I get stressed out easily....but not like this. Never like this. Here are some of my symptoms:

A) Last night I couldn't go to sleep. (I'm one of those whos head hits the pillow and I'm out like a babe sleeping)
B) I couldn't go to sleep because my heart was racing soo fast.....I could feel it trying to burst out my chest. (High blood pressure?)
C) I felt nausous to the point where there was all this pressure on my throat (which I guess could also be a symptom of needing to cry. But I don't like crying. It makes me feel awkward.)
D) When my alarm went off this morning I was dreaming that I was in a whirlpool DROWING (significant because I NEVER dream)

So I'm stressed. And it's not healthy. And I don't know how to fix the problems at work so that I won't be stressed anymore.

I wish I never grew up.

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